I think, therefore IB

It’s time we moved beyond the blanket blame game that often paints boys and men as inherently problematic. The phrase “toxic masculinity” has become a catch-all for behaviors and attitudes that are, in many cases, symptoms of deeper social failures — not innate traits of maleness. Rather than pathologizing boys for being boys, we need to understand and address the systems that shape them.

Take the UK documentary series Adolescence. A quick glance may lead viewers to assume it’s about a “typical” white teenage boy in trouble. But a deeper look reveals the story of a young man who is anything but typical — he is the product of a broken, racially biased immigration system that failed him long before society judged him. Framing him simply through the lens of “toxic masculinity” erases that context and oversimplifies a complex, human story.

If we’re serious about improving the lives of boys and girls alike, we must stop demonizing masculinity altogether and start promoting strong, compassionate male role models. As experts point out, fathers and mentors play a powerful role in shaping boys into healthy, empathetic men. “Boys and young men cannot be what they cannot see,” one researcher notes — and without nurturing, non-violent male figures in media, culture, and homes, boys are left adrift.

Blaming social media or banning teens from platforms like TikTok and YouTube won’t solve the problem either. What’s needed is education — particularly media literacy that helps boys critically evaluate the content they consume, including the disturbing sexism often found in online porn.

Let’s shift the conversation. Ditch the harmful labels. Understand the context. And start building up boys instead of breaking them down.

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